Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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