I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
