Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
