first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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