My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There r osticjed everywhere
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
