She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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