Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
