Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
