What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
