You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
id be glad to
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
