So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You smell like a Billy Joel song
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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