I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
