I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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