i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
