so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
