i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize
