I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
