why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Of course I have a pirate flag
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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