I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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