Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
