sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
