i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize