So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
