Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize