Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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