Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize