Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
