Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
