Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
