There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
