you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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