thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
