dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
