I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
