Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize