"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think people are normalizing furries
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
