what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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