Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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