Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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