Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
