Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
