i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
