it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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