When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
