I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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