Cold hands, warm shart.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
