No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
