Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to calm my uterus...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
