I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
