I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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