i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
