Do you still have your period?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
