the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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