i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
