I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
