I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
