I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize