No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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