I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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