Soap is not a condiment
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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