is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
