It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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