All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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