CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
