i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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