you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
