Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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