so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
