The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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