Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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