you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
