The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize