So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
